Sunset
by Zheth22
Summary: McRoll- Catherine and Steve take some time after avenging Joes death
1. Chapter 1

Finishing the op and finally realising it was over Steve looked out onto the Montana scenery and looked at the love of his life sat on a log with her back to him. He was tired, wounded and grieving so couldn't even lie to himself that she wasn't. He had loved having her back in his crew the last few days and didn't want to say goodbye just yet. Picking up a blanket from beside the door he walked towards her as the sun was starting to set and draped it around her shoulders, dropping onto the log beside her.

"Thanks Sailor" Catherine said giving her an easy smile "not quite Hawaii here, it's beautiful but starting to get chilly... you sure you won't be the one needing the blanket" slipping back into their easy banter had never been the problem, with them it was always those words that were left unsaid that left room for doubt. Keeping up with her quips Steve draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her under his arm and closer to his chest "I'll just have to use you to keep warm then!" His smile showing he was joking but neither pulled away and as Catherine rested her head on his heart and he put his chin on the top of her head, they both relaxed into the half hug and neither seemed to want to pull away, content in the innocence of the gesture but also in the comfort that they both needed after the revenge mission Steve had been on for the last week.

Harry Langford and Danny walked back into the main room of Joes house with Junior discussing the events of the last few days. Nodding outside the window where Steve and Catherine sat Harry commented "That's Steve's girl then, I wasn't sure at first but she turned me down flat... she sure is a force to be reckoned with, the way she handled herself she's impressive" Danny's grunt and shoulder shrug made Harry raise his eyebrows and question "you don't like her?" Danny, ever the protector quickly said "Catherine's Ohana but it would just be better if she stopped playing spy games and came home" Harry still not really understanding Danny's reasoning said "well I for one am glad that someone that badass is out there saving the world rather playing house with McGarrett, will make me sleep easier at night, what is their story anyway?"

Junior gave up all pretence of not listening at that as he had met Catherine once before this week but had never really asked Steve what the story was and Lou had just said to him and Tani that they use to date but he didn't really know anything more, her being his first call after Joes death indicated there must be more to it than something casual.

With the three of them looking out the window at Steve and Catherine watching the sunset with him arm around her Danny began.

"As far as I can establish they've known each other for about 20 years. Both of them were in the navy so they weren't always together but never saw other people, then Steve settled on the island and eventually Catherine retired from the navy and moved to the island. They were happy for like a second. Then things went wrong from there really, she set up a business with a friend and he got killed on one of their first ops, they then went to Afghanistan to rescue a boy Cath knew and Steve got captured by the Taliban, she ended up staying for a while, she came home and Steve was going to propose but instead she joined up with the CIA and here we are now both of them still in love but she's off doing her thing and he's left behind, can't actually move on but won't ask her to stay". Both Harry and Junior are surprised by the magnitude of the relationship but not that they are both still in love, whilst they were both professionals the last few days it was clear that there was more to their relationship than the "old friend" she had been introduced as.

"It's just he's his best self around her, he's more human, just a message from her can have him smiling all day, I've never seen anyone else make him smile like she does. That's where the resentment comes from, it would just be better for them both if she came home but she has the same damn saviour complex as he does" Danny had run out of steam and Harry and Junior nodded in understanding, appreciating that everyone needs someone.

After sitting and watching the sunset in silence, Catherine still comfortably tucked into Steve's chest Catherine broke the silence "when are you going to head back?" "I'm not sure, was thinking of staying a few days, sorting out some bits here, I guess I'm the closest thing Joe had to family, what about you, when are you due back?"

Mustering the courage Catherine asked tentatively "I could stay and help if you want, if it won't cause too many problems with Lynn?" Quickly Steve responded simply as if she should know "Lynn and I arnt seeing each other any more" "oh Steve I'm sorry what happened, are you ok?" Steve reflecting on Joes talk of love not passing him by realised this was his opening, he needed to put something out there before she slipped away again "she wasn't you Cath, no one is ever you, I'm still in love with you and always will be"

Steve's confession took her breath away, after everything that had happened over the last few years she never expected to hear him tell her he loved her. Tucking her head back into his chest she felt centred and knew she was finally in exactly the right place "I'll stay and help then." Taking a beat she confirmed "and just incase there is any confusion I'm still in love with you too" For anyone watching after twenty year this was the first time they had both declared their love other than on the phone in Afghanistan or when she said it when she was leaving but for Steve and Catherine they just stayed still, the power of the words soaking in but not yet ready to go further and talk about what that would mean for the future.


	2. Chapter 2

"Danny I'm sure, I need to sort some bits out here, the animals, close up the house for a while. I'm alright I'll be back in a few days" Steve was trying to convince Danny he was going to be ok, interrupting a rant Steve decided to give Danny even more material to rant about "Catherine is going to stay with me for a few days anyway so I won't be on my own".

Danny missed only a beat in his rant, and rolled with the new information.

"Catherine, Steve really your going to get your heartbroken again, don't you think you've been through enough this week already, she will leave again and your be on your own again. When are you going to give yourself a break?"

Giving Danny a reassuring smile and taking advantage of Danny seeming to take a breath Steve interjected "I'm a big boy I'll be ok, and Danno I'm never on my own I have you". Sighing in resignation Danny shook his head and nodded, if this was what Steve wanted to do then all he could do was support him, he was worried but also accepted if anyone could help Steve to deal with Joes death it might be Catherine.

Later after everyone had gone, Catherine wandered outside to find Steve, he'd been gone a while and she was starting to worry. She found him in the stables stroking a horse and quietly whispering to him, as Catherine got closer she could here Steve telling him everything was going to be ok.

"It will be ok Steve" Catherine said sliding up beside him leaning in, then accepting the hug he bought her into. "Thanks for being here Cath, it means a lot." Her sweet smile and muttering of always had him smiling and bought him out of the dark thoughts he had been having. "How about we take these horses for a ride, clear away the cobwebs? Dealing with things can wait another day?"

Eager to agree Catherine quickly suggested "you sort the horses and I'll make up a pack with food and water"

Having been riding for two hours they were both happy to take a break and sit and enjoy the scenery and pick at the nuts and fruit Catherine had bought with her. "I stayed here a couple of times over the years, first time was before I started military school, dad had just sent me away but there were six weeks before I could start school so I stayed here, looking back now Joe was on the teams so I'm not sure how he got six weeks off but he stayed here with me the whole time, I was upset of course, but mainly just angry, we rode nearly every day, went out shooting just gave me a way to let off some steam. I think those six weeks were important, being with him made me want to join the military, I think it was that time that helped me channel my anger into being driven, to wanting to be the best, that helped me through the academy, through BUD/S and being on the teams. I think Joe was the reason I didn't turn out like Mary, lost and angry. We've gone through our ups and downs but he was there for my graduations and I always knew I could pick up the phone and call him. I guess I just can't believe he's gone." Surprised when he started to speak, but sensing he wanted to get his thoughts out, Catherine stayed quiet, just placed a supportive hand on his knee.

"We've had our ups and downs with Doris but no matter what he's always been there for me, before I met you he was the only person who cared. He was more of a father to me than my own, and I've made my peace with everything with my dad now, but I look at Danny and he would never do what Doris or Dad did. No matter what he would never be parted from his kids and it's made me who I am so I've made my peace with it all but Joe always showed up when I needed him." At this point tears were streaming down both their faces and Catherine reached over and pulled Steve into a hug, his head in her neck and just let him cry, cry for Joe, for the years when he had no one but Joe and for the loss at sixteen of his family.

"Thank you" Steve said wiping his face, "for staying, for understanding, for being here, it means a lot, I just I'm not sure I could of dealt with it all without you here." Looking into her eyes he put his hand to her cheek and brushed his lips onto hers, a gentle thank you. Looking into her eyes all he saw was love and desire, even with both of them sat with tears streaming down their face there was no pity there, just love. So what started off a gentle thank you turned passionate and more intense and at first they were kissing then he started to remove her clothes, his hands caressing her back. Catherine pulled back, "Steve are you sure, your hurting I don't want to take advantage of that" laughing at the idea that she would be taking advantage of him he kissed her again showing her that there was no hesitation for him. Their love making was slow and passionate, surrounded by the Picturesque Montana country. For them both it felt like coming home. Lying semi covered by both Each other and the blanket afterwards both just enjoying being back in each other's arms Steve felt Catherine shiver "it's not quite as warm out here as my beach, come on let's get you back to the ranch".


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks so much for the reviews it means so much and like most of you I would love this to happen on the show. I posted the second chapter within 24hrs so I don't think it sent an alert so make sure you read that before this one!

They spent three days making love, cooking together, and closing up the house. Steve realised he should really be getting back to Hawaii. They had spoken so much over the last few days but had managed to avoid talking about the future. Steve had woken up early and was watching Catherine sleep, he felt at peace having her in his arms and right there in the moment didn't want to change anything. "You're thinking too loud Sailor" laughing at how perceptive she really was he tucked a stray hair behind her ears and gave her a peck on the lips. Finally he shared with her "I think I have to fly home tomorrow but was trying to work out a way we could just stay right in this moment now."

Home. One word but it made Catherine feel sick to her stomach. Steve was going home. Back to the beach house. Back to Danny, Grace, Charlie, Lou, Junior, Tani, Kamikona and the rest of his 'ohana'.

She had an empty apartment in Washington and needed to take on a new assignment. She realised the idea filled her with dread. Going back out to go knows where, chasing god knows who for the next couple of years. She realised she was bone tired of that life. She had finished up her last assignment three months ago and had been working a desk in Langley whilst she waited for the right assignment to come up. What if that was why she hadn't felt like anything was the right fit. Could she really just say she had done her bit, she was burnt out and go and live in the sunshine with Steve for forever? In that moment she realised that she had been running, scared to give up everything and make Steve her whole life but he was, he always had been, she could still be her but the best version of herself around him. As long as they were together they could figure the rest out.

Steve could see her thinking, that his talk of going home had got her thinking. He was tempted to just kiss her and make love to her until the forgot all about real life but he also wanted to know what she thought, could she just walk away again after the last few days of being back together. Waiting for her to say what was on her mind Steve held back, waiting for her to talk.

"I'm working a desk at Langley at the moment, been there for the last few months figuring out my next move. I could probably take some more leave in a few weeks, come over to Oahu for a few days to catch up?"

Steve listened to what she was saying, she was proposing they start their 'thing' again. Could he do that, just see her when she was stateside, could they really go back to what it was like when she was in the navy? The best of their relationship was when she was based at Pearl so maybe? Could he say no and go back to not being them? If she was stateside she would be in one place, she really could start to date, he was a hypocrite he knew but he couldn't stand the thought of her being with anyone else. He needed to fight for her, for them, if she was going to be in Washington maybe he could be too. He would miss the team, the beach but maybe in a few years they could retire back there. He realised he saw them with a family moving back to the beach house. God he couldn't let her go this time. He owed it to her, to Joe but most of all to himself to fight for her.

She didn't know how to take his silence, could see him thinking, she knew she couldn't let him go again this time, what if he found another Lynn but this time it worked out. She knew leaving the CIA would be complicated so she had to find a way to make him wait for her whilst she sorted things out, that's could take months but working a desk she knew it would be easier for them to let her go than when she was out in the field. Panicked she said "I know you said you couldn't wait for me but I could try and get to you as much as possible long weekends, or if you don't have a case we could meet half way".

Realising she was fighting for them too he shared with her his thoughts "I could move to Virginia, with my background I'm sure someone would hire me"

Confused Catherine said "why, it should be six months max till I can finish up and be on Oahu and we would be together any way".

Realising she was saying she would leave the CIA his heart warmed "You would really leave the CIA to move to Hawaii?" She nodded, seeing the fear in his eyes that he would really be enough she followed it up with "to be with you, it might take me about six months but if you can wait and we can see each other as much as possible at the weekends then we could make it work?"

Steve wanted to believe, more than anything, wanted to kiss her for saying exactly what he wanted, no needed to hear, but also had a question he needed to know before he could believe it. "Why now, what's changed? I wasn't enough last time?"

Catherine sat up, pulled the sheet around her realising that they were really getting the chance to have this conversation. She knew she had things to explain, but also she wanted to get some things off her chest too, she didn't feel it was all her fault.

"I think things were really good with us until I left the navy, then things started to go wrong from there. Billy died and I struggled to find my way, I enjoyed working at 5-0 but it was never meant to be a long term thing, I didn't want to leave but I didn't know what to do, then Afghanistan happened, I lied about finding my place, I was never teaching, I'd gotten into trouble over there, captured by a fringe group, and the CIA helped me out but signed me up for an op which I completed. I'd just finished up in time for Konos wedding, but when I got home things seemed different with us, I guess I'd been out there fighting all that time had seen stuff I needed to figure out, I wanted to tell you about it but we never really had any time just us and I just wasn't sure how much you had missed me. You didn't make any time for us, your damn phone kept ringing every time we started to talk and you never really came and found me after. I was helping out at 5-0 a bit but Lou had my office and you'd never really asked me to come back to 5-0 or move in so I just felt a bit lost. Like I loved you and had fought to come back to you but I wasn't sure I quite fit into your life any more. I'd told you to move on so I know that was on me. The CIA came up with another op and I said no at first, but they sold it to me as I was the only one that could help them and I guess I fell for their manipulation as I just wanted to feel needed at that point. I never wanted out of us though, I never banked on you saying it was over, at that point I knew it was too late to get out of the op so I left, breaking both our hearts, I think it was only in that last few minutes at the house that I realised just how much you did love me. I think that's why I was so surprised to hear you were going to propose. I'm sorry Sailor, I never meant things to turn out like this."

"I'm sorry too. I should of made time for us, I think I thought we would have time, I took you for granted. I thought I would propose and we would be happy. I was going to do it that day you left. I should of done it that day instead of telling you I wouldn't wait. I'm proud of the work you've been doing in the CIA though Catherine. I've missed you like crazy and wanted you to come home but I've been proud of you. Honestly I've been waiting for you even though I said I wouldn't. I never allowed things to get serious with Lynn, I chose someone the opposite of you that I knew couldn't hurt me. Then you came back and we went to the big island, it was after you left I was thinking about what you said, that you didn't believe I was really going to propose, I just couldn't believe you didn't realise how serious things were for me, I guess I've wanted to have this conversation since then. To tell you your it for me."

At that point they couldn't help but kids, a slow but meaningful kiss. "I love you Cath" Steve said pulling back so he could look into her eyes so he knew that she had truly heard him. "I love you too Steve, always".

They made love reconfirming their commitment to each other. Lying in each other's arms afterwards not ready to get up and face the day yet Catherine asked "would you really of moved to Virginia?" Steve nodded and said simply "I want us Cath" with a quick peck that said thank you and me too Cath laughed and said "you do know Danny would of killed you, or more likely me before he let that happen?"

Kissing her neck slowly making his way down her body he murmured "if this is our last day for a while let's not spend it talking about Danno"

After spending the day together sorting out things on the ranch and stopping frequently for kisses and to make love they settled back into bed. Knowing they both had to be out early in the morning for their flights Catherine just wanted to reconfirm their situation, "so we're on the same page? I'll work to get out of the CIA and come home? And your wait for me?" Steve realised it wasn't only him that needed reassurance, understanding that she was as hurt by their past as he was and that finding Lynn in his house must of been tough. Giving her a reassuring kiss he said "I'll wait, but also I'll visit and talk to you every chance I get. I want us to work this time, I know that means I put in effort too, to prioritise our time together and to share my feelings. Also when you come home I want you to move into the beach house, I want us to make it a home, or we can get somewhere new together if you want?"

"I want to come home, to the beach house, and be with you. I love you."


End file.
